General Conference

How wonderful it was to listen to conference this past weekend. Mark was home and that made it even more wonderful. This year I was especially interested in hearing any message that would be uplifting about the recent events with our economy and how this would effect us as Latter Day Saints. Although we've been warned over and over about having a years worth of food storage and adequate finances put away, I was still looking for counsel on the recent events. Yes, several talks mentioned the economic hardships we are facing today, but Sunday mornings talk by President Monson was the talk that really moved me and inspired me even though it had nothing to do with what I was looking to find or hear. In his talk he stated, "This is our one and only chance at mortal life - here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization it is brief. Don't let the most important things pass while dreaming of an illusive future based on time to fulfill leisurely pursuits. Instead, find joy in the journey - now." He went on to say, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and family. One day, each of us will run out of tomorrows."

I am so guilty at looking at my "tomorrows" and have a hard time with my "today". I've found that I don't have that many todays left with my children at home and how quickly the last 17-years have passed since Kylie was born. I don't like to focus on the disappointments and regret a lot of her upbringing but I think any parent on the threshold of their oldest child graduating high school and leaving home wishes they could of changed some things, and in my case I think a lot of things. I've often apologized to Kylie for her crazy flaky mother, especially during my divorced/single years. How greatful I am to her for telling me she wouldn't change a thing about me, even though she maybe just doesn't want to hurt my feelings with the truth :)

I have found that the last six years with having as many as all eight children living at home at a time, I was looking more to the future - for the number at home to decrease and make life a little easier. I thought that tomorrow held a time where I would be more at ease and more comfortable with all the change that had taken place since Mark and I had gotten married and blended our families. Although I realize that was very selfish on my part, I am thankful for many happy memories that we have from those early "learning" years. I do feel bad for the older kids though, they had it a lot harder than the kids living at home now have. But at least I can admit that, and they have heard me say it too! :)

This past year for our family has also been a year of uncertainty, which I don't think will be changing any time soon. With Mark's employment in Oregon and our family still not living there I have found my looking at my "tomorrows" more frequent than not. I have pretty much put our life here at home on hold while dreaming of our life in Oregon "tomorrow". Not that this past year has been a waste, but it definitely hasn't been a year of progress with a lot of things. I am definitely going to change that now.

I need to heed to the counsel of our dear prophet. In the end of his talk he stated, "Gratitude should be extended to God, as well." "In nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things. Let us follow him. Let us emulate his example. Let us obey his word. By so doing, we give to him the divine gift of gratitude."

I am going to try harder at focussing on today and my family here at home and living with the circumstances we have to deal with today. I hate to have regrets in my life and hope to FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY - NOW."